My Thoughts Seem Misty But My Mind Is Clear

As raindrops gradually started hitting the ground, panic crossed over me. I wiped the lens, ran back to my spot, hit the shutter through remote control, slid my phone away along the side of the wall, posed and waited for the ten-second countdown to end. Phew!

Shirt - High Low Striped Embroidered Loose Shirt from Zaful*
I have been trying to be more productive than ever right now and even though I have a very hectic schedule already, I do not want to slack when it comes to any path that I have chosen myself. I started my YouTube channel back in February, but could not keep up due to technical difficulties and ETS tests. So, I took a break until I could get back on track. More recently, I was finally able to get a laptop which means I can now edit my videos on a professional software (even if I am no pro myself). It took me a little while to familiarize myself with Sony Vegas Pro, but once I did, I have been enjoying filming and editing a lot more.

It is all still very new to me, I make so many mistakes every day. But what is important is that I keep on moving. Because I feel, we give ourselves too many excuses to not do things and procrastinate. But the truth is the clock never stops ticking. I have been working roughly 15 hours a day at this point and Karachi Electric, PTCL, family, social circles, slumber, and hunger have control over the other 9 hours in my life.

So while I was happy with the pace I was making YouTube videos at, I felt my blog was being neglected. As a result, I could only put up 2 posts in June and honestly, I was shocked to find that out myself only a couple of days back. Therefore, I have decided to give myself a stricter schedule and stick to it. I do not recall a time when twenty-four hours in a day were enough for me. And there is nothing that I can do but to try my best to beat time.

I am sure I sound like a maniac. You are right, I feel like one too. I graduated seven months ago, I chose to decline the job I was offered even before I had sat my finals. I chose not to look for one either. I do want to pursue my studies and become a mad scientist but corporate slavery is not what I have been cut for. I hardly make any money through blogging. Offers sure have rolled for my channel, but there is nothing that has worked out yet. It seems pointless to the people around me that I am constantly keeping myself busy with something that is not benefiting me in material ways. What they do miss though is that this is a form of expression for me.

My thoughts seem misty but my mind is clear. It gives me great pleasure to be in control of my life. To be my own boss, to be my own model, to be my own photographer, to be myself. I do not have to wake up and fetch at someone's command. Yes, I am more privileged than most, but I do not take it for granted. That's why I work up a sweat every day. I do not know what the future holds, I just know I cannot be deterred.

My new blog post schedule is seven days a week. My new YouTube video schedule is thrice a week so tune in every Monday, Thursday and Saturday.


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